Part of me sits indoors, in a room made suddenly rich with pink roses. They are the most glorious flowers I have ever seen, the perfect colour, the perfect scent.
Part of me sits outside in the snow. Waiting for my other daughter to come home. I'm waiting in the very spot where we said goodbye. It's going to be a long wait.
Monday, 14 November 2011
Geography
I'm posting about geography over at Glow In The Woods.
Until one hour ago, I would have said, "Babies, places and reminders, no, no place really comes to mind". I mean, I'm not a very sentimental person (I think partly for protection not only with the loss of Alexander but just loss/disappointment in general).
Then tonight, while I was in the shower (did I ever mention that I do my best thinking in the shower?) I remembered a time almost two years ago that I was in the shower talking to my husband (I had recently had a c-section and he was keeping me company).
I'm embarrassed to say that we were saying not so nice things about a (girl)friend of his. He'd just found out that she was going through her fourth divorce. We were talking about how bad things and her were like magnets. How perhaps she attracted them.
Less than 24 hours later, Alexander was gone.
Tonight I thought, "I'm looking forward to moving (someday) because then I won't have to stand in this shower again and remember that conversation".
In the back of my mind, I wonder, did we bring it on ourselves. Are we magnets?
Did I mention that I do some of my worst thinking in the shower (now)...
Just wanted to say hello. I haven't felt strong enough to blog or read lately but I miss you lots and have been thinking of you. Sending love. xoxo Lis
Great article. Got me to thinking...
ReplyDeleteUntil one hour ago, I would have said, "Babies, places and reminders, no, no place really comes to mind". I mean, I'm not a very sentimental person (I think partly for protection not only with the loss of Alexander but just loss/disappointment in general).
Then tonight, while I was in the shower (did I ever mention that I do my best thinking in the shower?) I remembered a time almost two years ago that I was in the shower talking to my husband (I had recently had a c-section and he was keeping me company).
I'm embarrassed to say that we were saying not so nice things about a (girl)friend of his. He'd just found out that she was going through her fourth divorce. We were talking about how bad things and her were like magnets. How perhaps she attracted them.
Less than 24 hours later, Alexander was gone.
Tonight I thought, "I'm looking forward to moving (someday) because then I won't have to stand in this shower again and remember that conversation".
In the back of my mind, I wonder, did we bring it on ourselves. Are we magnets?
Did I mention that I do some of my worst thinking in the shower (now)...
Just wanted to say hello. I haven't felt strong enough to blog or read lately but I miss you lots and have been thinking of you. Sending love.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Lis
reading along and sending a hug...
ReplyDelete