Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Between The Snow And The Huge Roses

'Between the snow and the huge roses' is a line taken from Snow, a Louis MacNeice poem.

It has been one of my favourite poems ever since I first read it in my early teens.

The opening lines are

'The room was suddenly rich and the great bay-window was
Spawning snow and pink roses against it
Soundlessly collateral and incompatible"

That is how I feel. Incompatible. Part of me sits indoors, in a room made suddenly rich with pink roses. They are the most glorious flowers I have ever seen, the perfect colour, the perfect scent.

Part of me sits outside in the snow. Waiting for my other daughter to come home. I'm waiting in the very spot where we said goodbye. It's going to be a long wait.

To hear the entire poem read aloud by the wonderful Jess, of After Iris, click here.


  1. Catherine, I can't believe it's taken me this long to find your blog and I've just read and nodded my head through all of it.

    You write SO beautifully and you express your grief so eloquently.

    "Incompatible" yes yes yes.


  2. Catherine, I've been following for a little while...Today I read all the posts in your 'background' section. I know you wrote all this over 2 years ago now but I just wanted to tell you how special both your daughters are (I know you know this). Regarding miracles, 11 days before Eva died we made up photo cards and we got printed on them 'Miracles Still Happen`. We were so happy, she had made it...thanks for being part of our journey. Then she died, and I wrote her obituary. I still have over 50 of those `miracle` cards now. They taunt me and mock me. See, this is what you thought you had...this is what you hoped, you get a dead daughter instead...miracles do happen...but only to other that lady in the NICU who went home with her that newspaper article in the pediatric cardiology office at our hospital, about a successful heart transplant child who is doing so well now. Those articles hurt so much now...and I was almost one of them, obliviously showing off that miracles still happen, and to me, to my daughter...still, still, I would trade every ounce of wisdom I have learned and return to my oblivious self if only to have Eva back...unfortunately this won`t happen, no matther how much I hope.