Thursday 6 September 2012

Between a rock and a hard place

So . . . . . in order to get Jessica's school entry delayed (so for her to rejoin the academic year that she should have been born into had she not been born so ridiculously early) I have to prove that she has severe special educational needs and get a statement for her.

In order for Jessica to start school as the system says she should (tomorrow) I have to prove that she has NO need for any additional assistance.

I can't prove either of those things.

I'm not an education specialist, I don't even know many three or four year olds. How I'm supposed to assess these things I haven't a clue. So now I'm just utterly at a loss.

Everywhere I go I keep getting referred back to the head teacher. Speak to the head teacher, speak to the head teacher, they all chant! The very same head teacher who has NEVER deigned to meet with me in person or even speak to me over the telephone.

Despite my first contact with this school being back in September LAST year.

So Jessica may or may not be starting school tomorrow / next week / ever? Who knows? Quite frankly who cares?

Perhaps we can just go entirely off radar and never send her at all? Which is looking like the best option by far at this point.

Or I could go and camp out in the reception of the school UNTIL the head teacher speaks to me.

I've ended up in the situation that I expressly stated that I DID NOT WANT. For Jessica to be treated differently to any other child and not allowed to start with the rest of her class, be in that in September 2012 or September 2013.

 Geesh, what an utter, utter mess.

Jessica - I'm so sorry my love. I did try my best for you and I tried to get what I thought was right for you. But transpires I can't get either my original plan, my fall back plan, or, it would appear, any formal education for you at all at this point.

10 comments:

  1. What a mess indeed. You're such a good mum and advocate for your girl. You've done all the right things. Keep at them. I hope this all works out for you guys.
    xo

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  2. Maddening that you've been working on this for a year and still have no resolution. Maddening too that they want you to start in school earlier than she should and yet won't work with you to make sure she's able to start on time this year.

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  3. Hi Catherine,
    Have some proffessional experience of the system , not sure which London borough you are in but....if no joy with headteacher use the borough early years department you may well get a response and some clarity.
    Alongside this point I hear what is both written and unwritten by you ...
    Jane x
    PS if you need any support let me know !

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    1. Thank you Jane. I'm not in London but I am in the South East. I just can't believe that this situation is still such a mess when I first approached the school over a year ago now. Perhaps I just didn't take the right routes? I don't know. Sigh. But still Jess had a nice day eating cake and feeding the goats at the farm park with me and her brother so first day at school, schmirst day at school! Glad I got to have her company for a little while longer anyhow!

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  4. Head Teacher being Head Master? I'd go to the top of the heirachy, if not. Frustrating indeed; keep advocating for your girl. Could your pediatrician point you to someone who is an "education specialist?"
    ~Cava

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  5. This is awful! It makes me grateful for preschool, preK, and K not being mandated here (and gets dont have to formally enroll in our state until age 8, at which point they are tested if the parents feel they are below grade level). We are opting to enroll our kids in the Preschool-age 3 for 2 mornings a week, even though, had they been full term (in Dec instead of Sept) they would have to wait until they were 3.75 years instead of newly 3.00 (1st day is the day after their 3rd bday). We arent sure how this will play out. There are a lot of 'new 3s' in their class, but especially with Bobby's speech delay, we are concerned. We figure we will play a lot of it by ear and take them out if it doesnt work (since it isnt mandated, we pay for it, and they are attending our parish school).

    Is it possible for Jessica to start and then, when the teacher realizes that she isnt at her chronological age, allow you to keep her out for the year, so that she can start next year? I completely understand not wanting the label of "special needs" when the only special need is that you want your child to be with her peers. It's unfair that it is simply an age and that they arent even trying to work with you. :(

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  6. This is such bullshit, Catherine. I wish I could help somehow.

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  7. &*()@^)(*& BUREAUCRACY!!!!!!!

    I wish it weren't all so familiar.

    Why can't anything be easy!????????????????????

    If you want anyone kicked...

    (not that it does any good)

    I will,

    CiM

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  8. It is just so frustrating and such a shame that in spite of all your efforts you haven't been able to talk to a reasonable educational professional with Jessica's best interests at heart.


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  9. I've taken to writing very long complaint letters lately (perhaps my way of venting at the world). People seem ever so scared when something is put down in writing - it tends to kick them into shape. Although, I can also understand how tricky that might be if you want to keep things nice and civil if Jessica is to attend there long term.

    Poor you. Poor Jessica. I hate this kind of red tape rubbish. I hope it resolves soon. In the meantime, enjoy Jessica for a little longer before she ventures out into the big wide world.

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