'The thing is - nature is so exact, it hurts exactly as much as it is worth, so in a way one relishes the pain, I think. If it didn't matter, it wouldn't matter.'
from Levels of Life, Julian Barnes
Part of me sits indoors, in a room made suddenly rich with pink roses. They are the most glorious flowers I have ever seen, the perfect colour, the perfect scent. Part of me sits outside in the snow. Waiting for my other daughter to come home. I'm waiting in the very spot where we said goodbye. It's going to be a long wait.
Monday, 20 October 2014
Thursday, 16 October 2014
Eavesdropping
Overheard conversation.
'Don't worry Alice,' she consoles. 'Maybe we can get you a new mummy.'
***
Mumbled.
'I wish that Reuben would turn into a pumpkin turnip. A SMALL pumpkin turnip.'
***
Office chat. On moving to a larger home.
'I was only ever going to have one child.'
'But you fell at the first hurdle there!'
Oh thank you. Random work colleague. For remembering. That there were two babies, all these years later.
I didn't say anything. I think you felt awkward. But I smiled.
'Don't worry Alice,' she consoles. 'Maybe we can get you a new mummy.'
***
Mumbled.
'I wish that Reuben would turn into a pumpkin turnip. A SMALL pumpkin turnip.'
***
Office chat. On moving to a larger home.
'I was only ever going to have one child.'
'But you fell at the first hurdle there!'
Oh thank you. Random work colleague. For remembering. That there were two babies, all these years later.
I didn't say anything. I think you felt awkward. But I smiled.
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