I ordered a pink first birthday bib and cloth crown for Jessica.
I know that I ordered only one, I've just double checked.
This wasn't a repeat performance of the birthday card thing.
I know how lucky I am to be ordering one of these, believe me. I cried and cried when I ordered it.
But they sent two.
I wanted two birthday cards.
I don't want an extra bib.
Or an extra crown.
Georgina isn't here to wear them. I only wish she was.
Strange. How to receive two of something, an extra, can make me feel so very awful. Two.
In the past I would have just sent it back and thought nothing more of it.
Surely the pain stems from not seeing Georgina wear the bib and crown. But, I think it also has to do with you (and me) once again not having control over the outcome. You wanted two live babies, you got one. You ordered one bib and crown, you got two. Nobody bothered to follow your wishes. Does that make any sense?
ReplyDeleteThis is so hard. I'm thinking of you.
Peace.
Everything (and I mean everything) serves to remind us of what we have. Of what we don't have. Of what we should have. Of how things should be. Of how things shouldn't be. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. somehow reminds us.
ReplyDeleteOh Catherine, I do wish people could bloody well send the right amounts of things! As Mirne says, everything is so loaded and significant, especially in this tricky lead up to the girls' birthday. Lots of love x
ReplyDeleteOh, Catherine, I'm so sorry. I wish so much that Georgina was here to wear that bib. Sending so much love. xoxoxo
ReplyDeletePerhaps it was fate, dear one. Little Georgina saying "Mommy, it's okay. I cant wear it in person but I'm still wearing it." You can put it with her card, in a special place.
ReplyDeleteI know how much it hurts... I'm sending you the biggest hug I can muster. Right now.
Catherine - that must have hurt. I can only imagine.
ReplyDeleteSo wishing that Georgina could celebrate her first birthday with her little sister...
Thinking of you as their birthdays approach...
Oh Catherine I am so sorry. I know this must be so painful for you since your sweet Georgina is not here to wear it. I wish she were, I wish she were here to celebrate her birthday with Jessica. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeletexx,
Tina
Sounds like a kick in the gut. I wish Georgina were here to wear her bib as she should be.
ReplyDeleteAww sweetie. I'm so sorry that there's an extra "thing" to twist the knife a little deeper during this rough period. Hope you can do something with it that brings a measure of peace - put it away with her card; send it back...or heck, even wear it yourself. I bet Jessica would think it was hilarious and I also bet that somewhere Georgina would be laughing too.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you, and remembering both of your girls today.
I am glad you are back; I missed you.
xx
Christy.
Yay Christy!
ReplyDeleteThat is a good plan. I will wear the extra bib and crown myself. As least that way they will get used. I could kind of wear them on Georgina's behalf, so I would know she was there and being remembered on the day.
Jessica will either find it funny or burst into tears. She really takes against me wearing glasses so I shall if she minds me in a hat.
Failing that it will make everyone else laugh :)
yikes, there goes the universe again, being a jerk. i'm so sorry. every little reminder is truly a kick in the stomach; like we need a reminder anyway....
ReplyDeletewish Georgina could wear her little crown with her sister and celebrate their first birthday together. <3
im very sorry darling, it hurts to be reminded that your child is no longer here, I too am given constant reminders. a little girl in our apt complex would always ask about the baby, after losing my son I hadnt seen here since, until yesterday, she runs up to me to ask me how the baby was, and I felt like I had been hit by a truck, hit with the reminder that he is gone, I didnt even know what to say, or how to tell a little girl such a thing.
ReplyDeleteits not fair that our little ones are not here,
there is no reasoning good enough for me as to why their not.
thinking of you,
kara
I imagine I would have done the same thing - bought two cards, but cringed at receiving two bibs and crowns. I'm so sorry for that salt in the wound.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I'm completely in love with the thought of you wearing the crown on Georgina's behalf :)
I still find myself involuntarily turning away when I see twin boys (which is every two seconds in this fertility town) but then I usually wrench my head back and it's hard to stop staring. Yesterday I saw a pair of twins in a restaurant who looked so much like I imagined my sons would look (sort of like Opie on the old "Andy Griffith Show") that I stared so much I'm sure I scared their mom.
ReplyDeleteI know that had to be so hard. I agree that it was a sign, letting you know it's all ok. Tuck it away for when it won't sting so bad. You'll be glad you did.
ReplyDeleteSending my love,
Lindsay
I can imagine how you must've felt, getting 2 bibs. I have been receiving things in the mail like baby formula samples, new mother literature, and even a "Congratulations on the birth of your child!" packet from the town I live in. I guess the hospital didn't also inform them that she died...
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you at this particularly difficult time of year.
thank you love, how are you holding up?
ReplyDeleteCatherine,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for comment today. You can ramble away on my blog anytime you'd like. :) I love your comments.
I hope today brings a bit of peace into your life, my dear.
Oh, Catherine. It is cruel, cruel to have these reminders. I am so sorry. I know this hurts. I am thinking of you with lots of extra love.
ReplyDeletexxoo
Christy W
Just catching up. I'm so sorry, this must have really stung. Little things like this always seem to trip us up....
ReplyDeletexo